P A R T U N O
Cosima Loren, as you may or may not know, is the Interplanetary Ambassador Extraordinaire for IFAOS. Though some might crumble under the pressure this title commands, Cosima takes it all in her stride. Every last bit of it. A natural-born hostess, Cosima lives for hosting foreign dignitaries (both terrestrial and extra) at her manse here in Saint Delphine—though La Musée has served as Diplomat Dinner Party Headquarters once or twice before. Ms. Loren is our Idol Spotlight this week. Cosima, take the wheel.
FAVORITE WINTER GETAWAY?
My townhouse in Saint Delphine, certainly. I spend so much time traveling, I like to be home when I can. The holidays in Saint Delphine are like nowhere else on Earth.
MOST INTERESTING AMBASSADORIAL MOMENT?
When a diplomat from Mars came for dinner—I had about forty people from Saint Delphine over for the occasion and halfway through, the diplomat got up to go outside and turn the sprinklers on. Then he came back in and finished his aperitif like nothing at all! He told me later it was a Martian custom to return water to the planet before a big meal, a sort of symbol of gratitude for the food and all that. Quite lovely, really. I never told him, but the sprinklers caused my fountain in the garden to overflow. It took about five weeks to drain the basement of all the water. Good thing I hate basements.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
Sies Marjan. But before you arrived—my silk kimono.
PICK ONE OF YOUR NEIGHBORS TO JOIN YOU ON A DESERT ISLAND.
Well I suppose I'd have to choose Clemens, though let's be honest—Rene's the survivor. Besides, she can manifest anything. She's bound to conjure a yacht to take us home, with stops in Saint-Tropez and Sorrento along the way. She's the epitome of female power. And she's hysterical. Who wouldn't choose Rene?
LUCIANO PAVAROTTI OR PLÁCIDO DOMINGO?
Plácido, of course.
Not anymore. The Kingfisher flight from Saint Delphine to Southern Linsendorf has finally fixed its in-flight entertainment bug. Currently screening are the first two episodes of Brideshead Revisited.
-KINGFISHER DIRECTOR CESAR HORN
You know how chocolate eases depression? Well, new studies are being conducted somewhere nearby—I can't remember where it's not important—to prove the effectiveness of topiaries on reducing one's risk of heart disease. I believe it without the science. They don't even have to be in rows to work, though that does help. Paths lined in gumdrop topiaries. The same kind that lead to fountains and more paths and then
more rows of different, smaller topiaries. But even one standalone can do wonders. Put one in the kitchen window or two flanking the mantle. Topiaries have been the savior of my blood pressure for years. Give a man a topiary, he lives for a day. Teach a man to maintain that topiary, he gets to keep something pretty.
More to come from Mr. Renata, as always the lively and inquisitive storyteller of our interiors here in Saint Delphine. But today he's exploring a color fraught with dopamine and anger. Only his plan is to dub it the 'hue of the ages'. No doubt it will be when he's done with this series of Baumgarten renovations. While I can't wait to see what he does and why his engine is revved on blue, I'll miss his constant conversation during these next few weeks. On the start of every new project, our dear Renata goes underground, so to say. Dark. M.I.A. He says it's for the process. I say it's because he owes Rene €400 for the Cartier he broke at dinner. He hates to discuss debts. But I love it now that I'm back from vacay.
Missy Klein—the woman responsible for the seven original Raphaels in Saint Delphine's La Musée—has admitted to perjury after appearing in court last week. What she was doing there in the first place, I wish I knew. This revelation from the heavens comes just two months into the investigation of crime lord Lor-
enzo Suarez. As a former beauty queen, what will life be like for her without pin curls? It's morbid really. She's playing the fool but those in the circle know that game. And it's all because of the knives the police people found in Prague. They came across receipts for the Hotel Absolon and tracked them back to her.
It's been a week and a half since Eileen Messerschmidt found God. That's what some people are saying anyway. I say she found Louis XVI and she's taking him with her to the weekend house to redecorate. Red sateen. Not really his color but it feels fabulous on naked skin.
Eileen’s biggest inconvenience this week was receiving a phone call from her supplier in Provence telling her chartreuse is out. Red it is. But wait there’s this striped mauve that would look fabulous in the sunlight. Both were sent. Both were considered. But in the end it was the mauve that won Eileen and Louis’s collective sanguine heart.
Le Lion most terrible [read: teh-ree-bluh]. His escape comes just days after his arrest under the Cleo Needle.
Le Lion has escaped another capture. Around 7 pm yesterday evening he was arrested under the Cleo Needle in the center of Alexandria Park and taken into custody. His sentencing was scheduled for tomorrow, short notice but we know his game. If only they hadn’t waited. I’d say he’s already somewhere in the Mediterranean shelling pistachios and blending peanut butter.
When legendary interior designer Cristóbal Renata gets sad, he eats blueberry Danish in the salon under his Diebenkorn. He wears a silk kimono too. But sadness, shame, and blues be gone. Today is his fifty-ninth birthday and he’s going to have cake.